...I became fat-ass lazy.

In more than one ways, I have neglected the little things that are important: Going to the gym, watching how I snack (oh believe me, my pre-PMS state turned me into a gobblemonster of sorts!), updating my blog, watching what I say.

For the latter, I know I shouldn't blame PMS for it.  But after a few days, it was the only reason I could think of for blurting out such inanities to a someone I've been starting to care deeply for.  And the way I've been bothered for the past week is an clear indication that he's become more than a friend to me.  His silence has been agonizing, and his very cordial sms responses yesterday left me feeling... cold.

Today, my eye caught the title of an unread message in my inbox: "Learning to Trust by Victoria Osteen"

It was that story of a little girl who saved up to buy a fancy pearl necklace which she wore everyday. Her father saw this as an opportunity to teach her about trust, and  kept on asking her if she she trusted her and was willing to give her pearls to him.  Of course she kept saying no. Days passed till the little unrelenting heart finally, tearfully gave in and let go.  In exchange, she found herself the recipient of a set of beautiful, genuine pearls. 

Old story, yeah... But the succeeding reflection hit home:

Is there something you are holding on to today that is keeping you from God's best? If you'll trust Him and let go of what's in your hand, an exchange will take place. God will let go of what's in His hand for you—peace, strength, wisdom, favor, and more. He'll give you exactly what you need.

Remember, God is taking you on a journey of faith.  Be open to seeing things from a new perspective.  Don't settle for second best when God has so much more. All you have to do is learn to trust in Him!

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV).

Tears on a Sunday morning.  It's been a long while since I last heard Him lovingly speak to me in silence, touching my noisy, struggling heart.

How can I receive love when I don't let go of the hurt?

How can I believe when I don't even trust Him fully to direct my path?

"Be still, and know that I am God."